Paula-Loves-Marla's Blog

Observations about Art, Movies, Books, etc.

Where’s My Wood???

One of my many, many personality quirks is that I’m a bit of a pyro. I don’t burn down other people’s things, but nothing gives me a sense of satisfaction like a good bon fire in my very own back yard.

I’m probably not supposed to burn brush & wood in our hoity-toity neighborhood, but darn it, I’m on a third of an acre with trees all over the place dropping leaves and branches everywhere. It’s fun to gather it all up in a big pile, drizzle some lighter fluid on it and light it up.

Everything about it is fun; collecting the downed branches over time, adding trimmings from the shrubs I’ve cut back, raking up any leaves in the vicinity and then torching it. Even the anxiety is delicious. Did I put too much lighter fluid on it? (Yes, because the flames are shooting fifteen to twenty feet in the air.) Am I going to catch the park land on fire? (Hmmm, should have tried that wet finger in the breeze trick first before you decided to light the pile.) Even the time I singed off some of my hair was fun.  Seriously, it’s quite a rush to be there blowing away at the fire in order to get it going and have it flare up right in your face! Even some of my eyelashes were scorched!

Imagine my surprise when I got home today and my fabulous burn pile was gone!

 WTF?!?!

Who steals a brush pile???

I still don’t know the answer to this question. All my Who-Girls (who had a half day of school today) could tell me was there were some guys cutting up and hauling off a tree that had fallen near the little stream behind my house. Why these phantoms were working my yard is a mystery. There are fallen trees on the parkland behind the property which the water commission has a right to cut or move, but those weren’t touched.

All I can figure is that someone called a tree service to work in their yard during the workday and they wound up at our house by mistake (my brass house numbers are tarnished beyond legibility).

Anyway, my pyro-pile has been bushwhacked and any hopes I might have had for lighting up a cool bon fire this fall have been dashed.

I’m hoping next time someone orders in elves, they do chores I actually want….like carpet cleaning or window replacement.

Santa? Are you listening?

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