To Quote REM, “Everybody Hurts”
We feel pain. It’s part of the human condition. It is an unavoidable part of life. No one likes it, but we all endure it.
Children fall and skin their knees. School kids can be remarkably cruel with their taunting. They hit their targets with deadly accuracy. Middle school is brutal with it’s scuffles and walking along the tightrope between childhood and adulthood. High school is a social nightmare of jockeying for position with friends and dating.
Things don’t get any easier when we get older. Broken hearts and broken dreams are part of the territory. The worst part is that the people we love the most can hurt us the deepest. When this hurt comes (and sooner or later it will), it’s astonishing how wounding it can be.
The thing about loving relationships is that you work through the pain. You communicate with each other, remembering that the important point is that you love each other. Being right doesn’t matter. Winning doesn’t matter. Scoring points doesn’t matter.
I know a little something about being in a relationship which has been degraded by pain. We lost sight of the love. We got caught up in blame, anger, resentment, and every possible negative reaction to a bad situation which could make the relationship worse. It takes a whole lot more work to play catch up after years of anger and hurt and in hind sight if we’d spent more time loving and talking and less time being angry and hurtful, we’d be in a much better place right now.
Maybe you’ll find this blog entry and reconsider how you handle your pain and your relationships.