Christmas Panties – Wear Them at Your Own Risk
Ah, the holidays. Everybody runs around looking for the perfect gift for friends, loved ones and family. As popular as ties are on Father’s Day, lingerie seems to be the gift for wives/girlfriends on Christmas. There have been many Christmas mornings where I’ve opened boxes containing things which were lacey and/or abbreviated to wear by themselves or underneath my clothes.
One year in particular was a banner year for unmentionables. My husband got me a box of musical snowflake thongs from Victoria’s Secret which I got to open in front of the entire family (mother-in-law included). Later that day my husband’s ex-wife and her current boyfriend came over to celebrate Christmas with us (and to have some holiday time with her kids). We were all sitting around opening presents and lo and behold I was presented with a see-through nightie with matching panties. I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but we all had a good laugh and a nice visit.
After the holidays, I put all the gifts away. I hung the nightie up in my closet and sort of forgot about it. The singing panties were shoved to the back of my undie drawer. There they remained for a couple of years until one frantic July morning I was getting dressed and needed something underneath my slacks with no VPLs (visible panty lines). All my regular thongs were hanging in the laundry room, but I didn’t have time to run down and get them. On went the snowflake panties and out the door I went.
It turned out to be a busy day with me running all over the place. The last thing I was thinking about was my underwear……….
………until I got onto the elevator headed up to the third floor (Executive offices & Human Resources) with some of my more conservative co-workers. I leaned back onto the bar at the rear of the elevator just after the doors closed and my underwear deployed*. There I stood with Christmas tunes wafting from my pants, trapped in an elevator with everybody looking at me. At first I had no idea where the music was coming from, but then it dawned on me that I was the musical culprit.
It was an eternity until the elevator doors opened and freed me to flee in complete embarrassment. At the first opportunity, I ducked into the ladies room to remove the musical unit from their secret compartment (Oh! That’s Victoria’s Secret!) and fling it into the nearest trash can.
Family and friends have gotten many a laugh at my expense over my panty fiasco and so have I. Hopefully I made you laugh as well.
*I used the word deployed derisively. It has become an misused word in the workplace and this must stop. The only place things should deploy is on the battlefield (weapons, artillery & troops), cars (airbags) or in the air (parachutes). Any plans you have should be executed, carried out, performed, completed or accomplished, not deployed. Now go hit it out of the ballpark, but stay on my radar and start thinking outside the box.