Paula-Loves-Marla's Blog

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Destination Weddings – Taking Matrimony on the Road

 

Over the past few years I’ve been to my share of destination weddings and witnessed several that I wasn’t even invited to. It’s the new hip way to get married. I agree that it’s fun to go somewhere beautiful and obviously there will always be a relative or ten who live out of town and would need to travel anyway so it seems only fair to make everyone hit the road in order to attend the nuptials.

The downside is that a lot of these events are in the summer and outside which is a risky proposition at best. One of my sisters got hitched in the Outer Banks a few years ago. The plan was for a beach wedding which would have been lovely except that it rained. It wound up being a volleyball court wedding instead. We never did wind up seeing the ocean on that trip but it was fun all the same.

A couple years later my other sister chose Charleston as her destination wedding. At the time it was the second most popular location for this sort of event. It was lovely and sunny plus the seating was placed in the shade (a big plus if you don’t want to fry at one of these things).

Nags Head has been our vacation spot for at least the last six years or so and our family really enjoys the week at the beach. I’ve noticed as we’ve arrived in the late afternoon the last two years that there have been weddings near the beach access by the houses that we’ve stayed in. It’s pretty entertaining after a long drive & unloading process to sit out on the porch drinking a beer and watching all the guests assemble in their finery. The musicians play Ave’ Maria with crashing waves adding percussion. Finally the groom and his men join together with the minister and the bridal party swoops down upon them.

From my lofty perch on the deck above I sat weary and sweaty from our long journey south and watched the charming tableau unfold. The young couple glowed in their happiness with their family surrounding them. The guests looked on in the fierce glare of the western sun which slowly baked them to a crisp. As I sipped my icy drink and observed the scorching splendor, I thought to myself “Poor schumcks”.

As they say, what comes around goes around and the Saturday following our vacation this year we too became poor schmucks. The destination this time around was a winery / vineyard which sounds quaint enough until I realized that there are no big shady oaks in a vineyard to ward off the blazing sun. It was hell, pure and simple. My feet and legs felt like they were covered in sizzling oil and it was difficult to focus on the event. Thankfully the minister was very funny and wise which made me laugh while sweat was dripping down my back into the crack of my ass and my skin was scorching. The reception at least was in a shaded courtyard with plenty to drink much to my relief.

The strangest destination wedding I’ve seen also happened while I was on vacation. The dog got me up at between 5 & 5:30 A.M. every morning for a walk on the beach this year. It was a little early in the day for me, but since we were mostly alone on those morning walks, I didn’t mind too much. On our fourth morning there (a Thursday) we headed out at 5:30; me with a bag in my pocket and the dog with the hope of catching a seagull. We had no idea that there would be anybody else out there, but lo and behold a small group of people were congregated on the beach and in the process of a wedding.

5:30 A.M. on a Thursday??? I couldn’t for the life of me come up with a reason for the odd timing other than perhaps a strange numeric or wiccan themed wedding. I always thought that people conducted duels at dawn but I didn’t see any pistols waving so it must have been an amicable affair. Perhaps the bride and groom were simply trying to be considerate by having a sunrise event rather than having their guests spontaneously combust in the late afternoon sun. Either that or the printer screwed up the invitations and they didn’t have the money to buy new ones. Needless to say, there were not many attendees. Those who were there probably went back to bed afterwards grumbling about 5 o’clock before they drifted back to sleep.

Obviously wedding trends change and something else will be hip in ten years. I’m hoping autumn or winter weddings catch on, you know maybe a fall foliage wedding in the Shenandoahs with colored leaf bouquets or maybe a Colorado skiing wedding. The wedding party could skate on out to the minister for the service and after the wedding kiss the groom could twirl the bride.

Please, just something other than baking alive in dress-up clothes!!!

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One thought on “Destination Weddings – Taking Matrimony on the Road

  1. Alexa on said:

    Oh, I loved this, Paula – so funny! And I guess a beach wedding in July would be better than a Brooklyn wedding in July! 😉 Although I think I’d prefer my Brooklyn wedding in the AC than one in the vineyard in the baking sun – yuck! Like you said, what’s wrong with the fall or even the spring? Let’s encourage our kids to have spring or fall weddings one day… in the distant future. 😀

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